Rising from the depths of
Belgium, TEK9 swiftly became a leading site in the Benelux and with hard work and dedication we have grown to embrace many fine European nations making TEK9 a very mixed community. In some recent Heaven Media meetings with my colleagues over in the UK I heard a few careless comments about the Brits (who a long time ago supposedly had an Empire that controled most of the world) considered themselves finer gamers than those on mainland Europe.
Clearly this was not something I would take sitting down, my protests fell on deaf ears but recently an opportunity presented itself and this was too good to be true. Finally a chance to show our pompous British friends that their fabled Empire (powered by greed and slavery) was held together by nothing more than luck (which became clear when it fell down around their ears following WW2). Now unlike them I can forgive and forget but every now and then I think it’s good to put them in their place and this current opportunity presents itself in a rather unexpected way; SEGA’s Napoleon Total War is released this Friday and having been privileged to play the game from some review copies we realised this would a great chance to show them that us European’s truly are superior in every way.
An invite landed on my desk, it contained tickets to travel to England and a invitation to meet them at Fort Amhusrt, some quaint pile of rocks these Brits like to call a ‘Fortress’. Naturally I’ll take that challenge and I will beat them on their home territory to put an end to this once and for all.
Those of you with limited military history may be unfamiliar with the Napoleonic era. Following the blatant neglect of the French by their pompous aristocrat leaders a revolution saw the majority of them with the heads in baskets. A military genius and fine leader of men who went by the name of Napoleon Bonaparte united France, became Emperor and secured allies with neighbouring countries such as my fine land Belgium. All this took part around 1800-1815 and sadly ended in a fluke defeat at Waterloo. Now any British among us may tell you Waterloo was the Duke of Wellington’s finest hour, this is complete nonsense. We out-gunned and out-skilled the British in every department, controlled every key position on the battlefield and if it was not for the Prussian’s finally working out how to read a map and stumbling upon the battlefield we would have crushed every last one of them there and then. I put it down to a fluke and I intend to demonstrate this but trashing the Brits 3:0 in our upcoming encounter.
We have slapped up a micro site to keep you posted on each battle and more importantly to serve as a lasting reminder of the crushing victory I intend to give you over my British colleagues. Show your support if possible, send me any requests you have about how you would like to see them humiliated and stay tuned for the extensive video evidence we will bring you.
Napoleon Total War published by SEGA and developed by Creative Assembly is released this Friday.
Belguim was never a threat the British :)
Don't mention us nearly getting sat @ WW2. Air supremecy bitch :D.
Just admit it.
The reason we are superior to the Mainland Europeans is simple
IN WW2:-
The French Got scared and ran away
The Germans...well, you lost...GG
The Benelux, Used to ride bicycles with a rifle strapped to the handles, and call it a tank.
The Russians, They don't even have a third brain cell to equate the amount of deaths they had in WW2
You stand no chance.
(Note: I do think Benelux players are cuddly none the less)
edited 2010-02-25 11:53:56
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Cringemeter
£4lyf.
gl to you Sir but better luck to Gonzo :D
edited 2010-02-25 12:49:01
Describe your "standard of living."
Some people are born smart, others ain't
edited 2010-02-25 13:33:37
Nevertheless, he is talking about knowledge. Knowledge is something you acquire from experience and education.
harv knows what hes talking about.
edited 2010-02-25 14:21:06
edited 2010-02-25 13:53:39
i played shogun, rome, alexander, medieval 1,2 and the latest total war to bits.
lure them to the bridge, go around with cavalry and trash their artillery. then squeeze em at the bridge
sorted.
Need some practice Steven?
When did Alexander come out and was it any good?
GOGO CADRED!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=fCfrJyBIEsU
What did Britain conquer in Europe at that time?
What's cadred? :p
which fish is first.
edited 2010-02-25 15:17:49
go stevenn none the less!
Now in terms of the British Empire staying together on luck alone, luck can't last centuries! Besides,you mention slavery in a time when slavery was considered the norm and was practiced in all industrializing countries at the time, so you can't use the slavery card.
In terms of WW2, well at least the Brits could hold off the Germans on their own in comparison to the French, whose forts were just avoided by German tanks going LoL cy@. The Belgians during ww2, not even gonna talk about them.
Finally! The only bit of notable Belgian history worth talking about is the atrocities and genocide committed by your very own King Leopold in the Congo.
Anyway LOOL bit of history back at ya! Sorry Steven, will be cheering for the Brits looking to restore the balance of power against the fat mess that destroyed a perfectly good Republic and made himself Emperor while fathering cripples. GO GONZO!
edited 2010-02-26 00:54:48